Week one in Ethiopia

Dear friends,

Okay this is a long email, but it has been so refreshing and a bit therapeutic to write it all down. I am sharing since many of you might be wondering what is happening. Thanks ahead of time for reading this and sharing in our lives.

Here is a review of our first week in Ethiopia. We had many wonderful firsts with our children. They loved their new clothes, their new toys, and enjoyed new foods. Maleka saw her self in a mirror for the first time and giggled hysterically for a few minutes. Maleka and Geb had their first bath time together and throughly enjoyed every moment. It has truly been a blessing to experience so many firsts with them.

We have also experienced many bonding moments together. G took to Dave from day one. M took to me. We slept in the same bed together, cuddled at night and read many books together. M has had many breakdowns, crying for 30 minutes to 1 hour at times. Most of her breakdowns were over her not using her words and me saying no to her. There are some cultural gestures that are driving me nuts. They shrug their shoulders for "no" or I don't care, nod their heads for "yes" and make a low humming noise (especially G) when they don't get their way. They have learned to sulk for a while when I refuse them their request. I however am learning not to fight these battles too much and to take the head nob as a yes and a shoulder shrug as a no. In my American opinion it seems so rude, but it is just their way of communicating. So for right now, I am just modeling saying yes or no for them and sometimes having them repeat it after me.

In the last few days, M has really learned to trust me. She is no longer having breakdowns. It seems my setting boundaries and being really clear with my boundaries has really helped her to trust me. She, for the most part, is a complete delight all day. Unfamiliar circumstances causes her to be clingy, but overall she is so snuggly and amazing.

G and I had an ugly encounter yesterday. He hit M and then ran away when I tried to talk with him about the problem. Since he kept trying to run away, I had to restrain him for about 30 minutes before he would calm down and listen to me. He eventually did and I had a waitress translate why I was upset with him and what he needs to do next time. Although it was ugly for a few moments, it ended up being a beautiful teaching moment. Since Dave left, he hasn't wanted much to do with me. He will let me help him, but he wouldn't read a book with me and sit on my lap. After the incident, he wanted me to read a book with him, which we did for a long time and it was the first time since Dave left that he hadn't cried himself to sleep. Again, the whole setting boundaries thing became a way for him to trust me and bond with me.

Ethiopia has been such an amazing and frustrating experience. I love the people. They have so little on their plate and are so free to be with you and to help you. I love this. There is room to love and serve. My days are pretty much void of choirs and responsibilities. I am free to just be with my kids. I love this too. My day is pretty much about loving on them and enjoying them. However, everything is so slow. Internet is slow, food service is slow, people are always late, etc. I really am okay with being on Ethiopia time except when I have kids on kid time. I assumed they would be use to Ethiopia time, but when they are hungry they want food right now, when they want to leave they want to leave right now, etc. This has been the hardest obstacle for me and taking much planning ahead.

The one major lesson I am learning is to just be. To be here fully in the moment and to really enjoy this time with my kids. I want to thrive, not just survive this season. So I am trying to put away my anxiousness to be home and to close this chapter in our book, and to just keep this chapter alive and be in it for the good and the bad. I haven't really been homesick until my dad arrived. I am missing Zach so much it hurts. I miss my other kids too, but Zach is still so little and I am so afraid I am wounding him by not being there. Mommy's guilt! Again I am learning to trust God with Zach's heart and praying over his protection while I am gone.

I was able to go to church with, Dr. Samson, a friend of a friend. He was so gracious to pick me and the kids up and take us to a local English speaking church, Beza International Church. G is often car sick and threw up all over his car. He was so gracious and it didn't bother him a bit that his back seat had throw up and over it. Again he is so free to love and serve. It was refreshing to sing worship songs even with two kids squirming in my lap the whole time. The sermon was about thriving and trusting God in the midst of a storm, very applicable message for me to have heard!

We should find out this week when I am coming home. We are currently waiting for our paperwork to make it to the Embassy in Nairobi. When they receive it they will tell us we are cleared or to collect more evidence for our case. Our agency has already had the birth mom interviewed by a psychologist and we are submitting that with our paperwork. We are praying we can be cleared this week and return home by the end of this week or early next week.

I am overwhelmed constantly with how many people are praying for us and caring for us during this time. I need and feel your prayers, so keep them coming. I would also love an update about how you are doing. It would help me feel connected to all of you who are so far away. Please send me an email about what is going on in your life!! It would truly bless me.

P.S. Internet is very unreliable so if I don't respond right away know that I am not ignoring you.