The waiting . . .

We have been home for 4 weeks now.  I can't believe how fast and how slow time can go.  We have been officially submitted to the US Embassy and now we wait.  We wait for people to work on behalf of our case to arrange birth parent meetings.  The waiting has been easier and harder then I expected.  I expected to be sitting around wondering what each day is like for my children, but by the time I wake up they are going to bed so during the day I pray for sweet dreams and when I am going to bed I know they are just waking up so I am asleep while they are playing, eating, showering and whatever else their day holds.  It is also a little of out-of-site out-of-mind.  When we do receive pictures of our kids, this is when time seems to stop and slap me on the face and say, " Why the heck are you not with your kids? This whole thing seems so wrong."  In the last set of photos, Nazareth's head was shaved.  I immediately started to cry upon seeing her.  I am her mom, I should know and approve this, right?  It just seems plain wrong for me not to know what decisions they are making on her behalf.  I do believe the staff did it for health reasons and I am grateful for their care.  It is just the mother instinct in me wanting to be apart of her life.

I am thankful I have four kids and a household of projects to keep me busy.  We are rearranging furniture and rooms to make room for the kids.  I am also prepping for the next year of homeschooling.  So I am thankfully busy with preparation.  Let the waiting continue . . . . .