Week two and three

I finally have email!! Yeah! Love to hear from you again. It keeps me sane to know life is happening without me! I love your updates and they truly are a gift. Thanks friends for all the encouraging words, for the phone calls, and for all the prayers. We still haven't heard anything and hoping to next week.


My dad came on Sunday night to join us. It is was so nice to have someone to tag team with. It is hard when one of the kiddos decides to collapse and have a meltdown while you are eating and needs to go back to the room. Generally, all the staff are super supportive and friendly and want to help. I have had people carry items, bring my food to the room, The guards send hours playing soccer and blowing bubbles with the kids. Every Ethiopian I have met adores kids, so every interaction is so sweet and enduring. My kids are not going to know what to do when most Americans won't stop and give them a kiss or pick them up and squeeze them. They truly are so loved here.

My dad and I thought we'd be a little adventurous and head out of town. The suggestion we were following was to head to Woliso, about an hour and a half drive away. So we arranged the hotel and the driver and we set out to send a night or two in a different part of Ethiopia and to experience more rural Africa. I was so excited. I really enjoy the people of Addis, but really have a hard time living among all the population, trash, and smoke. So heading to the countryside sounded like bliss. After about two hours into our drive, we started to feel a little antsy about why we hadn't arrived at our destination. When we asked our driver, Ben, he told us we were about half way there.
Us: What??
Ben:Yeah Awassa is another 2 hours to go.
Us: What? Awassa?
Ben: Yeah don't you want to go to Awassa?
Us: No, Woliso!

So there we were heading to Awassa. He assured us we were going to love Awassa. So we trusted him and continued on our way. It was truly beautiful. On the drive we saw grass huts, carts pulled by donkeys, children playing on the side of the road, mom's carrying their babies on their backs, monkeys in the middle of the street, and any kind of animal on the side of the road or right in the middle. We nearly crashed a thousand times due to those crazy cows! The drive was so very interesting. Of course, Geb threw up on the way going and coming back. Chalk that up as another Wilcox throw up story(Kandus, I know you are chuckling). G has a car sickness problem! I, however, was throw up ready with a bag and wipes in hand!

Awassa it's self was beautiful. It is situated around a lake and the resort we stayed at, Haille Resort, was right on the lake. They had a playground, a swimming pool, and the first real beef burger I have had since I have been here. Most of their burgers are minced meat so a real beef burger is a pleasant treat. We bought some really attractive swimsuits from the gift shop and we took the kids swimming for the first time! We also rode a boat to see real live Hippos! To sum it all up, we weren't really roughing it in Africa, but the break from Addis was especially refreshing and needed.

My dad headed out on Saturday night. My time with my dad was so sweet. Geb really connected with him and M started to towards the end. It is so comforting to see my kids bond with the adults in their life. I was again worried about the loss G would feel when Grandpa left, but again he seems to know he will see him soon. He will occasionally cry after he talks to his dad on the phone, but it doesn't last long. I sit and cry with him, because oh I feel his pain!

It was my first week without some one to help me. The good news was there still was Lisa and her kids and another couple we traveled with for court coming to pick up their daughter. So I didn't feel completely alone. So week 3, went by fast and smoothly! We spent hours with Philemon and his girlfriend (I just don't know how to spell her name). They are such an answer to prayer! They fed us, gave me the best cup of coffee ever, took us to the zoo, gave me a cell phone, helped me get my internet from a local Internet cafe, and they always love on the kids. When we need a little break from our room, we head down the block and hang with them. Philemon some how makes M smile when she is in her bad moods. I believe he is the reason my kids are doing so well. G receives some manly love and M has some to understand her language and make her smile. I am crying as I write this and thinking about the gift they have given our family.

My days are generally quite simple and easy. We wake up, eat breakfast, play outside or in our room, eat lunch, take a nap, wake up, watch a video, head down to Philemon's, come home, eat dinner, take a bath, read books, and good night. Not that tough. My kids are not Americanized yet, so a balloon can be hours worth of fun. I am so amazed how they can play with one item for a long period of time. The Fanning Family before they left gave me a bag of chalkboards, chalk, and sponges. We spent an entire hour writing on them, cleaning them off, and doing it again. I love it!

The hardest part is not knowing when I am going home. I would just do so better if I wasn't always wanting for the next email from Embassy. The "there is still no news" statement is getting old. I can endure if I know for how long. So pray we will have an answer even it is the one I don't really want to hear. Tonight (Friday) I am struggling! I am needing an answer and the fact that all the Americans I know in Ethiopia just boarded an airplane to go home, I haven't had Internet access for three day, and I have to wait until Monday at the earliest to receive an email has put me into a perplexed, irritated mood. It is so hard when I can't just pick up the phone and call my hubby to tell him how I am feeling. I have to wait for him to call me and this is excruciating. I am so thankful for a call from my sister, Zach and my mom, and my dad. My mom has planned a birthday celebration for Zach's 4th birthday. I am so thankful since this will be the first birthday I will miss. Looking big picture, this isn't really a big deal, but right now I am grieved to not be there for him. I know we can celebrate when we come home and we will.

I can't wait for all of you to meet G and M. They are both awesome kids. Yes they have their moments, but for the most part they are fun, entertaining, and lovable. I am so thankful for this time I have with them to really bond and learn all about their personalities. I say to Geb that he is ready to have three brothers. He loves terrifying his sister, playing soccer, rough housing, and just being a boy. He will fit right in. We have spent hours on learning his letters, numbers, and colors. He is so interested in learning and is picking up English fast. We have a way of communicating without speaking. He is still translating for M.

M is still moody. I have learned to just hold her and I am learning some tricks to snap her out of her bad moods. I make sure in the morning to take time to rub lotion all over her body. This is a huge sensory input for her and helps her tremendously. Without lotion, horrible breakfast! She, however, is having less break downs and when she does they are much shorter. She is challenging me less on the language and slowing starting to use English. Language is our biggest obstacle and I don't think it will improve until we leave Ethiopia. She loves to comb my hair and rub lotion all over me. This is part of our bed time routine. Super cute and girly!

Anyways, I head into a week completely by myself. They are no adoptive families coming for a while and all the others have left. I have contacted a few people here. I am visiting Bring Love In on Monday to see the work they are doing. They have created a foster care program here. Super excited about this. I am also hoping to make it to a park. Getting around places here is very difficult. You have to wait for a driver to take you, pay a ridiculous amount of money, take another half hour to get there, get dropped off and if your lucky be picked up after 2 hours. I am afraid to leave the hotel for too long incase the kids are hunger or have a melt down. So I generally try to stay close and save the money.

Week one in Ethiopia

Dear friends,

Okay this is a long email, but it has been so refreshing and a bit therapeutic to write it all down. I am sharing since many of you might be wondering what is happening. Thanks ahead of time for reading this and sharing in our lives.

Here is a review of our first week in Ethiopia. We had many wonderful firsts with our children. They loved their new clothes, their new toys, and enjoyed new foods. Maleka saw her self in a mirror for the first time and giggled hysterically for a few minutes. Maleka and Geb had their first bath time together and throughly enjoyed every moment. It has truly been a blessing to experience so many firsts with them.

We have also experienced many bonding moments together. G took to Dave from day one. M took to me. We slept in the same bed together, cuddled at night and read many books together. M has had many breakdowns, crying for 30 minutes to 1 hour at times. Most of her breakdowns were over her not using her words and me saying no to her. There are some cultural gestures that are driving me nuts. They shrug their shoulders for "no" or I don't care, nod their heads for "yes" and make a low humming noise (especially G) when they don't get their way. They have learned to sulk for a while when I refuse them their request. I however am learning not to fight these battles too much and to take the head nob as a yes and a shoulder shrug as a no. In my American opinion it seems so rude, but it is just their way of communicating. So for right now, I am just modeling saying yes or no for them and sometimes having them repeat it after me.

In the last few days, M has really learned to trust me. She is no longer having breakdowns. It seems my setting boundaries and being really clear with my boundaries has really helped her to trust me. She, for the most part, is a complete delight all day. Unfamiliar circumstances causes her to be clingy, but overall she is so snuggly and amazing.

G and I had an ugly encounter yesterday. He hit M and then ran away when I tried to talk with him about the problem. Since he kept trying to run away, I had to restrain him for about 30 minutes before he would calm down and listen to me. He eventually did and I had a waitress translate why I was upset with him and what he needs to do next time. Although it was ugly for a few moments, it ended up being a beautiful teaching moment. Since Dave left, he hasn't wanted much to do with me. He will let me help him, but he wouldn't read a book with me and sit on my lap. After the incident, he wanted me to read a book with him, which we did for a long time and it was the first time since Dave left that he hadn't cried himself to sleep. Again, the whole setting boundaries thing became a way for him to trust me and bond with me.

Ethiopia has been such an amazing and frustrating experience. I love the people. They have so little on their plate and are so free to be with you and to help you. I love this. There is room to love and serve. My days are pretty much void of choirs and responsibilities. I am free to just be with my kids. I love this too. My day is pretty much about loving on them and enjoying them. However, everything is so slow. Internet is slow, food service is slow, people are always late, etc. I really am okay with being on Ethiopia time except when I have kids on kid time. I assumed they would be use to Ethiopia time, but when they are hungry they want food right now, when they want to leave they want to leave right now, etc. This has been the hardest obstacle for me and taking much planning ahead.

The one major lesson I am learning is to just be. To be here fully in the moment and to really enjoy this time with my kids. I want to thrive, not just survive this season. So I am trying to put away my anxiousness to be home and to close this chapter in our book, and to just keep this chapter alive and be in it for the good and the bad. I haven't really been homesick until my dad arrived. I am missing Zach so much it hurts. I miss my other kids too, but Zach is still so little and I am so afraid I am wounding him by not being there. Mommy's guilt! Again I am learning to trust God with Zach's heart and praying over his protection while I am gone.

I was able to go to church with, Dr. Samson, a friend of a friend. He was so gracious to pick me and the kids up and take us to a local English speaking church, Beza International Church. G is often car sick and threw up all over his car. He was so gracious and it didn't bother him a bit that his back seat had throw up and over it. Again he is so free to love and serve. It was refreshing to sing worship songs even with two kids squirming in my lap the whole time. The sermon was about thriving and trusting God in the midst of a storm, very applicable message for me to have heard!

We should find out this week when I am coming home. We are currently waiting for our paperwork to make it to the Embassy in Nairobi. When they receive it they will tell us we are cleared or to collect more evidence for our case. Our agency has already had the birth mom interviewed by a psychologist and we are submitting that with our paperwork. We are praying we can be cleared this week and return home by the end of this week or early next week.

I am overwhelmed constantly with how many people are praying for us and caring for us during this time. I need and feel your prayers, so keep them coming. I would also love an update about how you are doing. It would help me feel connected to all of you who are so far away. Please send me an email about what is going on in your life!! It would truly bless me.

P.S. Internet is very unreliable so if I don't respond right away know that I am not ignoring you.